Family
One thing I’ve learned over my life is that family isn’t necessarily defined by DNA. In fact, most people view at least one person as family even though there are no blood ties whatsoever. My daughter has an aunt who is not my sister; but I dare anyone to try and tell me she isn’t family. Family can be, and often is, chosen; and those ties are usually the strongest—our “ride or dies.”
If you’ve read any of my novels in this series, you will have noticed the fluidity of the family structure. (Fluidity might be the wrong word, but I just mean how familial relationships are built between characters related by blood and characters who are not.) Falinor and Syllé are a good example. Falinor is known as Syllé’s father and they definitely have a close and loving relationship. However, he’s her adopted father, a role he took on in order to protect her; but they have grown from strangers to truly devoted family. And Falinor’s love for his “daughter” colors everything he does and says. Regardless of a lack of blood ties, Syllé is his child, his family.
The twins feel the same way about their “sister” and adopting her into their clan is more than ceremonial. Kwin and Finn are Syllé"‘s brothers and she is their sister. The “siblings” are fiercely loyal to each other regardless that one shares no blood ties to the other two, proving over and over that family is more than just DNA.
I look at my family and see a lot of the same ideas, which is probably why many of the relationships and characters in my books are the way they are. My daughter’s aunt has been in my life since before Emma was born and grew from an acquaintance, to a friend, to a sister organically. She calls my child hers and has always been one of Emma’s greatest role models. I know I can call her anytime and she’ll be there for me; and while I may not be the best about answering texts right away, I would help her in any way no questions asked. That relationship isn’t defined by DNA but by choosing a person who enhances mine and my child’s lives exponentially.
Thinking that family is only those people who share DNA with you isn’t something that fits most of us. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have family ties to people who would never show up on their Ancestry.com tree; but whose absence at a family gathering would feel wrong. There’s nothing wrong with choosing and embracing a diverse family group. Finding and cultivating those relationships, whether started through blood ties or not, is the heart of our lives. We need those ties for so many reasons, but most importantly, for the community they bring. Humans aren’t loners. Instead, we are extremely social creatures. So treasure and build your family and hold on tight to them. I know I do.