Confidence

Creativity doesn’t stem from some deep well of talent within one person’s brain and it doesn’t just exist in only certain people. Everyone can create. I do get tired of hearing my students tell me what they can’t do, instead of just trying first; and every time something gets turned in, I get the litany of why it isn’t good. I get it. I do the same myself with the things I create. It took my daughter challenging me during an argument for me to try and get published. I realized I was failing her because I was showing my child I had no confidence in myself or my abilities. To say I was devastated at the revelation would be an understatement.

I want my daughter to strive for greatness, not be held back by insecurities. I want the same for my students. They’re all amazing strong, creative individuals. Who cares if our stick figures don’t look like stick figures? Neither do Picasso’s. When I was a proud new mama, I was visiting friends. Both were parents. I was sure they would see the gorgeous entity that was my beautiful baby girl. The woman had no interest in my daughter. In fact, she looked me straight in the face and said, “Don’t be offended but I don’t want to hold your daughter. I never liked kids. They don’t get interesting until they’re at least in their twenties.” The point is that there is no single person who everyone loves. There is no single piece of art, literature, music, architecture, anything actually, that everyone adores. Take cars. You favor Fords, or Toyotas, or Chevrolets, or whatever brand. Or you like SUVS or coupes or sports cars. How about music? I could start a war in my classroom just bringing up Taylor Swift. She’s either the end all be all, couldn’t care less, or sucks, depending on who’s doing the rating. But that’s my point.

Not everyone is into fantasy. So, obviously, not everyone is going to like my books. They may never be New York Times bestsellers, but I’m published. And many people have told me how much they have enjoyed reading my work. More importantly, (to me, anyway) I showed my daughter that I could believe in myself, even when it was terrifying, which opening your work to others is. It’s a part of your soul, a part of your heart, and when you share it with others, you often want to qualify it to them to lessen the blow if they don’t like it. I get that. Creativity is hard. Opening up to others is hard, let alone to the whole world. I just hope that my students understand that they don’t have to qualify their work for me. I always find good in whatever they truly put effort into regardless of whether or not their poetry rhymes or their stick figures look like stick figures.