Embracing what 2025 taught me.
So, tomorrow is 2026. How did that happen? And yes, I do understand the concept of time. It’s just that every December 31st I wonder where the past year went; and like many, I consider those life affirming, self bettering resolutions that are totally forgotten within weeks if not days. In recent years, I have been setting anti-resolutions. It’s a lot less stressful. What I mean is that I like to look back over what I experienced, what lessons I can pull from those experiences, and then take that forward into the next year. No fancy resolutions or self-promises that I will ultimately go back on shortly after making them. Just lessons learned even when life was so hard I could barely see my way forward. And there were several dark days this past year, but there was much more light, thankfully. Unfortunately, we tend to focus more on the dark.
This year was hard. I lost two people who were extremely important to me within weeks of each other. I still have their numbers in my phone. I still have our last text stream and can still hear my uncle’s voice from our last phone call. I can’t bring myself to erase them from my phone even though their contacts just remind me of what I have lost and can never regain. That’s true emptiness. So, what kind of lesson could this ever teach me? It taught me to value those I still have, to make sure that I tell them how important they are to me, to not leave things undone or unsaid. (I learned that last one over many years—with my Aunt Marj, my Grandma, my Grammy. Those three are my biggest regrets. I put off a letter, a phone call, a visit until I couldn’t do any of those things. Thankfully, I didn’t do that this time. I got to say everything I wanted to say.
I’ve also been sick A LOT this year—COVID, flu, allergies, UTIs, migraines, food poisoning, frozen shoulder, hip injury, pulled back—let’s just say that this year’s been a huge pain in about every part of my body. You get depressed when you’re faced with one setback after another and I’m not even going to try and imagine that my immune system is now ramped up after fighting off so many things. I know better, especially since I’m a teacher and that lovely germ factory that is a school will find all new sorts of illnesses for me in 2026. It’s inevitable.
Along with all my ills, I had social media to conquer (which I definitely haven’t yet, but I’m getting better) and interviews to do and book signings to survive and colleges to visit and peopling to do, and I did it all. My tv, podcast, and newspaper interviews were seriously better than before showing me I can put myself out there. I mean, I really couldn’t do any worse than my first tv interview. I got to my car after the interview and couldn’t remember anything I had said, except that I had started crying part way through. Not the best. But this year, I was more confident and that is spreading into other parts of my life, which is what I will try to build on in the next year.
On one of my college visits with my daughter, we went into an adorable bookstore in Danville, KY, and when I went to the cash register, a dear friend of mine was already there plugging me and my books. They decided to put them in their store. I was embarrassed and anxious about it. I don’t like to promote myself. It feels arrogant and braggy; but today, my daughter and I were in a really cool new store in Jonesborough that is fantasy-themed—artwork, books, jewelry all fantasy inspired. (They had these amazing wooden carvings; one was of Gandalf and the Balrog facing off in Moiria—”Thou shall not pass!!”) As I began talking with one of the owners, I brought up my books. Long blog post short, I’m taking my books by the store after the holidays for them to see if they’d like to carry them. How cool is that?
Maybe if I can learn to advocate for myself face to face, I can learn the social media and become more comfortable in front of the camera. Who knows? I could actually rock my next interview. Really, as long as I don’t cry, it’s a win.